Listen to me!

We finally went to a doctor. Apparently my uncle has had bi-polar disease for over 20 years and never told me about it. He never saw the need to be consistent in taking his medicine – nor did my aunt think it was needed. So, now he is being treated for an un-diagnosed bi-polar disorder along with a mild cognitive disorder. His doctors are concerned about his WAY too low depakote levels (note to self – figure out what that means and why I care). One doctor is currently in the process of running tests for various cognitive disorders and believes that because the bi-polar went untreated for so long, it is a high possibility that he will develop dementia. Dementia runs in the family. My grandmother (my uncle’s mom) was diagnosed with a severe form of dementia at age 69. She was able to live at home or with my parent’s for a few years until she moved into a skilled nursing facility. She died at age 74 in December 1991. My uncle does not see it, but he is acting just like she did. My mom and dad say it is eerily the same way. Once the dementia got started, it went quickly. So at least we have some answers – I don’t like them, but they are answers. Things are so slow moving – I want an answer and I need a fix NOW>

I think I have just been thrown in the fire. My uncle has a really bad temper when he does not get his way (think toddler tantrum). I believe this is why he had the altercation with his mother-in-law. He has had several other cases since then where he has reached out to someone. He claims it is an accident once it happens or that it wasn’t his fault. He has ZERO financial responsibility. He does NOT understand why he can’t bounce checks or have a negative balance in his account. He thinks he can go out and spend, spend, spend. He currently has a -$800 balance in his checking account, but last night he went out and purchased a mountain bike from WalMart because he thinks he can ride a bike 30+ miles a day. I feel like I am talking to a brick wall a lot of the time.

As a side note, my uncle had another court appearance for the month. Another postponement. Maybe in January things will be better. They tell me that this is normally how they happen.

Oh – and my cousin. I could just choke him. He convinced my uncle (who clearly isn’t stable) to take on car payments for a $53,000 car – to the tune of $775 each month. He also has paid lots for his daughter in law’s car payments and some of their utility payments.

My aunt is going to come back soon from rehab. This is going to pose a challenge. How am I going to find a place for Fred to move to? Because of the extra money going to my cousin and the new loan payments, he is unable to afford a place to live.

Christmas is around the corner. I think my uncle is going to go visit my cousin for the holidays. Maybe my cousin will see up close what is going on with my uncle. Maybe he will be OK with my uncle moving closer to him. That would be the best solution possible. Yes, there is the money thing – but maybe my cousin will come through with his promise that he will pay my uncle back. I have to figure out where my uncle is going to live.

Positive thinking.

But I have to start thinking about me. My doctor just put me on high blood pressure medicine. And my poor children and husband. I spend all my time dealing with uncle issues. Is this all worth it? But if I don’t do it, who will? I have screamed for help, but no one is listening.