My uncle visited here for Thanksgiving. To say it was an experience is an understatement. Something is not right. Why can’t doctors see this? Why can’t I get in a doctor to LISTEN to me?
He talks a mile a minute; he never slows down. He went to church and talked the whole time. He knows better than this. Last week he was driving; he was so lost police pulled him over and had to drive him to a place where Fred knew where he was. He really should NOT be driving because he doesn’t have the dexterity to stay on the road. When I was in visiting him in October, I followed him home one night. He swerved in front of LOTS of traffic! Come to find out, he has been falling – a lot. Like he now has a cast on one of his arms from a fall. Turns out that he has been falling without an explanation for the past several years – yet no one thought that was a big deal. During a recent doctor visit, they asked he not drive. So he WALKED to the doctor. I think this would have been 5+ miles. He fell in the road and had a stranger pick him up. He didn’t make it on time to the doctor (he says because of the Veteran’s parade was blocking the streets). Once he got to the doctor, he had no way home. They called him a cab. This just CANNOT be normal. And yet I have called and there are NO services to help him. The VA will only transport to a VA doctor – which has a LONG waiting list – if there is one at all. Can you say roadblock?
Back to the Thanksgiving visit. My uncle doesn’t sleep at all. I don’t think his mind knows how to rest. He has a CPAP machine, but I don’t think that is the problem. He simply cannot relax his body. We all noticed that he has NO short term memory. He never could remember my son’s name despite being told over and over again. However, he knew that I had my grandmother’s (his mom’s) Christmas ornaments. He is beyond messy and gets ANGRY if you throw anything away. He left hats and clothes on top of lamps that were on – that could have caused a fire! He shows no reasoning skills when asked to do a simple task. I am not sure he would remember to eat and I am not sure he remembers to take his medicines. Oh – and money – he has zero idea how to manage it. He has overdrawn from checking and has maxed out credit cards. They have only been open a month! For Fred’s return trip home, he didn’t get in the prepaid car service I arranged for him. He called a taxi – and then had to call me at 3AM to pay for the cab being that he had no money and maxed out credit cards! To say I am stressed is an understatement.
But there are glimpses of good things. He smiled and I could tell that he was very appreciative. He really enjoyed being with family. And perhaps that is all that matters.
Lord grant me patience.
Caregiver Musings 